GOODBYE MY LOVE

 

 

I public back my blog, ya finally. At the first post that I public my blog, I want to say, I break up with him already.

 

 

I don't know why I want drop down this feeling, this feeling is sucks. I know many ppl will see this, but still, this is my life, you gossip it, none of my business, just it's a prove that you are really miss/mr.eight.

He didn't do anything wrong. No cheating, No drinking, No smoking, No Flirting. But since before the day we break up, he flirt, this is the first time I hate him so much.  

He is a good smart guy, he is also a great friend you want to have. When it comes to relationship, at start he is a thumbs up good boyfriend. But at last, love gone, argue come, he not treat me as that well anymore.

To my friends, I mean my the best friends, sorry that I didn't tell you all what's the reason we break up. In this relationships, when we having argument, he always said : just break up. and talk with not tender. I am the one who always hold back our relationship. Ya, I love this boy so much. No matter how bad he treat me, I would just excuse myself: no, this isn't him, he is good, because of myself, always done wrong and e made him rude of me. Until yesterday, I stop trying to hold him back.

I follow my heart all the time, but this time, I listen what my BRAIN told me. Ya, I know it's hurt that breaking up, so? If you both really not suit each other, just leave. You still can be a good friend, even best friend with him right? If we didn't start this relationship before, I guess, we are humor good friend now? HAHA I don't know, but still, I don't regret in relationship with him.  

 

 

Ya I cried a lot, I can tell you all, I even cried when I having exam paper just now. But no one know, I hide myself. But when I typing this post, I didn't shed any tear out. I cried too much for him, and now, my tear is all dried up.

It's a lie if I say I don't love him anymore. Although we just went through nine months together, not a very long time, but guess what? I plan the future with him, dream to marry him, imagine the life I am his wife, thought he is my last long. In these imagination, I smile sweetly.

我常告訴我自己，对，他就是我等的那个人了。他是我的未來，我的全部。

但是不知道从几时吵架开始，我忽然感觉自己想放弃了。

我要改变很多东西才跟到他的步伐。 我很不喜欢吵架，吵架只令我觉得他很恐怖。

在这段感情萌芽时，我们都不够了解吧？也没想到现在的我们分手了。

我给我们最后机会了。我们都说好了，要是我们再吵架就分开。

果然，这句话后的一个月，我们吵架了。在这个月，我很谨慎的和他在一起，我不想犯错，不想分手。

可是上天不给我这个机会。就算了吧。勉强在一起也不幸福。

我問我自己，是不是愛得太多？我做得太多的改变了，我已经是为了他而改变后的我了。

我已经忘記以前的我是怎样，要甚麼，想甚麼。

他叫活出我自己，但，我不知道我是怎样了的。

算把，既然找不回了，就好好做我现在想做的东西吧，敢敢做。

I'll let fate decide. If one day, he back to me, and we still love each other, I will still choose together with him. But this is not very will happen. I won't fall easily to others after this, I will choose carefully. I don't want to get hurt ANYMORE. 

Please trust me that I don't want to break up but it did. I forced myself to accept, enough is enough, I never made such a big decision like this before. 

Today, I didn't do well in my history paper, economy paper and sivik paper. Everything seems hopeless to me.Well, life goes on. I will force myself to do well in the following papers. I can do it right? 

At last, I don't hate him. Hope that we can really be a pair a good friend like what we said, chat sometimes but not all the time. Ya, I can only say that the love is still there but the heart is dead. May god bless me and him. GOODBYE MY LOVE